Perks of the 3rd Trimester

There aren't any.

The end.

Kidding, really. There are like 1 or 2. I know I'm just now getting into the 3rd trimester but I already know what lies ahead I've had several previews already.

The first perk is, this is the home stretch! The last 3 months! Like really we're going to have a tiny human in our arms in THREE months. Holy crap. More on that later.

The second is appetite. My body is backwards. I was insanely hungry in the first trimester, ya know the one where you are supposed to be puking your guts out and some women actually lose weight. Yeah, eating was  definitely not an issue in the first tri. I was starved constantly and the only thing that reduced the nausea was straight carbs. Crackers, crackers, and more crackers. But I digress, in the second trimester I had a relatively normal appetite but now that I'm in the third I have to remind myself to feed this poor little dude. I'm just not hungry. When I do eat I'm amazed at what little space there seems to be in there. It actually hurts to eat a normal sized meal. Everything is all squished in there. Not nice. So perhaps that will curtail the weight gain in the 3rd trimester. Fingers crossed.

So far not a stretch mark in sight. I hear it's somewhat genetic and mom says she didn't get any so again my fingers are crossed. I've heard many women say they surprised them at the last minute. I hate surprises. I've been lathering up with this stuff just in case there is any prayer that it works.

As I said, I'm just starting on the last 3 months of this journey so I've not experienced all the gloriousness of this trimester but I do know if the acid reflux gets any worse I just might breath fire. I believe my esophagus is being eaten away as we speak. Tums have been my best friend but I'm so sick of the taste of them at this point I honestly never want to eat another Tum as long as I live. My doctor ok'd Zantac. This was a God send. I was waking up every night miserable with that burning sensation in my throat like I'd just polished off a spicy Mexican burrito when I'd eaten nothing even remotely spicy.

Sleep. Oh sleep. How I miss sleep. All those people that say "get your sleep while you can" you're a**holes.  Like you could seriously just sleep extra and "save" it up. What kind of sick joke is this? I know I'll be up all hours of the night when he gets here can I PLEASE just sleep all through the night, PLEASE. I'm desperate. So desperate in fact that I walked to work with my eyes closed on Friday. Don't worry mom I opened them at crosswalks and looked both ways.

TMI warning: it's come to this. I can't see, well ya know, that area anymore. Yep I said it. Only because I love you all and I want my child free friends to know what lies ahead in the event they take that leap into mommy hood. That's what friends are for. Shaving blind is just not a good idea. Ever. If you're brave you might have to recruit someone for this process or grab a good mirror. Now that I've embarrassed us all, moving on.

The aches and pains. I've been a complainer lately. I generally try not to complain constantly but I'm so desperate for Justin to give me a back rub daily that I take it to a new level. I keep reminding him of how heavy his kid is (I mean he's at least 10 pounds by now right??). I've always had problems with lower back pain but having an extra few (more than a few) pounds on my middle has really pissed my back off. It's probably time to go visit my chiropractor. I also have a prenatal massage scheduled (I'm so spoiled!) so I'm super stoked about that. Like so excited I could do a happy dance and pee my pants.

Another new development is shin splints. I get them off and on. They're worse if I spend too much time in heels or shoes that don't have any support. Oh my old lady pregnant feet. I bought another pair of shoes specifically for walking back and forth to work and workouts that don't include running (I'm very particular about my running shoes!). I got an awesome deal on them from The Clymb it's my new favorite website for sports gear!

Like I said, I do a lot of complaining but there are so many awesome things about being pregnant too. I can't ever get sick of this little guy kicking the life out of my insides or lodging his feet in my ribs. When he does his barrel rolls as I fondly refer to them I have to laugh a little. It's just another reminder that there is a tiny life inside me. I mean how is that not the coolest thing EVER? My husband and I made this tiny human that's half him half me (more me if the kid is lucky....hahaha totally kidding!). It's truly a miracle and among all that complaining I do about my thighs that touch and my belly that might never see a bikini ever again I am absolutely in love with this tiny life we've created and I wouldn't trade it for anything!